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I'm always amazed at how the daffodils never fail us, emerging when it seems premature but proving themselves perfectly on cue for warmer weather. I have learned that you can never take these daffodil days for granted, as this span of time between the Alabama seasons of "cold" and "hot as farr" (to borrow the name of Jack's latest hamburger) is mighty slim. Spring is a wonderful time in
Rediscover your State Parks (www.alapark.com) and your local library (cheap! close! fun!). There were too many activities to list them all, but here are a few in addition to events at our favorite spots like McWane and the
March 16 at
March 17th at
March 20th at 10am – The Weather
March 20th-21st – Trade Days at
March13th – The IMAX film Bugs and the NatureScope Exhibit open. This is sure to be an exhilarating, creepy crawly experience for your budding scientist.
March 14th from
March 15th – 18th - Meet Dora the Explorer. Picture times are at 10, 12, 2 & 4.
March 13th – March 19th (except March 15th) from
March 15th – 19th from
Saturday, March 27th at
Sunday, March 28th at
March 13th (and every Saturday morning) at
March 15th from
March 16th at
March 16th at
March 17th at
March 18th at
March 19th at
March 16th – Teen Game Tournament at
March 17th at 10am – Wear Pig Out Pink as you fill your tummy with tasty treats from your favorite books
March 185th at 10am – Book Arts – Wear Well-Read Red as your favorite books inspire you to create a masterpiece
March 18th at
March 19th at
April 10th at
I could see her dilemma; I mean, does a book always have to be so deep and fraught with meaning? When you're three years old, you just want a fascinating story. You don't necessarily want every book featuring black characters to be the boyhood story of a courageous African American icon. Nor does race, heritage or ethnicity always need to be central to the story. How about just an ordinary kid doing the usual stuff, like tying shoes or learning to count?
As luck would have it, shortly after that discussion I visited a preschool in West End as a volunteer in an early learning program. My task was simply to read some books to the children. As I sat down among the group of eager young faces, I realized that of the three books provided to me, two featured white families and one was about an elephant attending school in Paris. Surely I could do better than this.
Luckily, my friend offered some suggestions for next time:
Not Norman: A Goldfish Story, written by Kelly Bennett and illustrated by Noah Z. Jones. This book is precious and the perfect book for any parent who has thus far held requests for a puppy, kitten, or hamster at bay. If you've been putting off a furry pet and trying to persuade your kid to be content with a goldfish (the quintessential pre-pet pet), Not Norman is your book. I found my copy at Target.
The Snowy Day, written and illustrated by Ezra Jack Keats. This is the classic we all remember from our own childhood days. It's a Caldecott Medal winner and, as my friend pointed out, so appropriate for our unusual snowy weather of late.
Peter's Chair, also by Ezra Jack Keats. Here is the book for adjusting to the arrival of a new sibling. It was first published in 1967. That's over 40 years of guidance on becoming an older brother or sister.
Ten, Nine, Eight, written and illustrated by Molly Bang. This is another Caldecott Medal winner and the perfect countdown for bed book. In researching this book further I found that the editors originally told Bang that she had probably cut her audience in half by having the child be a girl and the family African-American. She reasoned just the opposite, since there was already an abundance of books about white children and families. Happily, she says the book has "sold well to both white and black, and all shades in between."
As an added bonus, all of these books have teacher's guides readily available on the web, some created by educators and some by the publishers.
Now I can't wait to go back to the daycare and share these books. Even better, I'm happy to have discovered some wonderful books for all children.
A favorite Valentine's poem by an eight year old girl:
Valentine's Day
I hate you so much
Too much love and all that stuff.
I hate you Valentine's Day
OK?
Soon enough Valentine's Day will become fraught with expectations and will likely alternate between heartbreak and euphoria. But for now it is a comfort to know that we aren't yet witnessing the ups and downs of romance, breakups, and petty quarrels.
There will be some great Valentine years and some bad ones. Something tells me this poem will be a manifesto for the bad ones.
There's a lot of talk these days about Nick Saban and his "process" for developing his team. The BCS national championship has sports writers deconstructing what he does to make the team successful. Well, though I don't have an agent or a contract, I do have a process of my own that I have found to be effective in developing the kids as participants in the family's home keeping.
It started a few years ago when I decided that I was not going to allow myself to be a scullery maid for the family. I reached a point where I literally could not keep up and was becoming resentful of the effort.
Like many kids, mine functioned under a pervading myth that houseshold magic accounted for how the clothes were reliably clean, the silverware could be retrieved from the drawer even blindfolded, and the bedsheets were changed regularly. Meanwhile, no one dared ask why mommy had clenched teeth and flew into screaming fits at the slightest provocation.
So it actually wasn't out of a purposeful training plan but of true necessity that I insisted each member of the family have specific household duties. A guidance counselor encouraged us moms to assign the kids responsibilities at home. "Make the children think the home cannot run without them. They need to have a role at home see that they are needed. There is nothing better for developing their self esteem and sense of responsibility."
Committing to this concept, we developed the Process which has produced our own championship-worthy results. In addition to the usual bedroom cleaning, each child does kitchen or laundry each month. Duties are swapped at the end of each month.
Kitchen duty: Maintains the kitchen so that the family can enjoy meals and snacks in a clean and organized environment. Duties include:
- Loading dishes after meals (each individual will put his or her meal in the diswhasher if there is room)
- Wiping down the dinner table and countertops
- Sweeping the floor
- Putting leftovers in the fridge
- Running the dishwasher, if needed
- Cleaning out the sink
The biggest gauge of success with the kitchen position is keeping the sink clear. If clean dishes aren't unloaded, there is nowhere for dirty dishes to go but into the sink to soak and wait. This makes for a messy work environment for the next meal and makes clean up harder. The best way kids can manage this is to unload the dishwasher each morning or before the dinner prep so there is a "clean slate" and the cook can work. If the dishwasher is unloaded frequently, it's available for the rest of us to load our own plates each night, a natural benefit of keeping this job done.
Laundry Duty: Keeps the laundry moving sequentially through three stations: dirty clothes hamper, laundry room, and bedroom drawers/closets. Duties include:
- Gathering laundry
- Sorting for wash according to colored/pales/whites (I am the only one who has handwashables so I keep these out of the laundry routine)
- Running washer - usually one load started in the morning and one during the evening
- Moving clothes from washer to dryer
- Removing clothes from dryer and hanging/folding and placing into individual's hampers. Each individual puts away his/her own clothes each evening.
Any clothing that isn't in one of the three "stations" is by definition out of place. That's not to say we don't have clothing out of place sometimes - like strewn on the floor - but it's easy to correct quickly. Also, a sibling who needs a clean uniform can be a very effective advocate for keeping the laundry moving. And yes, someone has had to dig into the dirty clothes to re-wear a pair of jeans when there were none clean. But honestly, that happened sometimes when I was doing the laundry, so it is certainly no worse now with the Process. I just don't get blamed.
Instead of trying to play all the positions, I coach the household team. Saban may kiss his Waterford crystal, but I'm toasting with mine.
It's winter and that means I'm with a lot of other BirminghamMoms trying to get our husbands to internalize this message: You are no less a man if you use basic skincare products.
It amazes me that even sensitive, thoughtful men can be so unilaterally opposed to skincare of any sort. Somewhere the John Wayne decision model (If the Duke wouldn't do it, neither would I) has done a disservice to men everywhere. If John were still around, I'd recommend some skincare company get ahold of him as a spokesman to assure our defiant fellows that it is okay to apply a moisturizer. Of course, John would probably have too much residual sun damage to be very convincing.
Although men can bear the signs of aging more distinctively than women (would a women's hair product called "Touch of Gray" ever make it commercially?), there is a point at which the pure discomfort of chapped skin should overrule any misplaced worry about being seen as a sissy. Although men's skincare is evolving, the market is a long way from Gift With Purchase.
Sunscreen on the golf course might pass muster, but the only luck I have had in launching a skincare mission is to bring home products that are almost medicinal in their marketing approach:
A few suggested products that meet these criteria and are reallly good:
Neutrogena's Noreweigan Formula Cream - The package claims the formula began with Norweigan Fishermen who worked in the unforgiving icy sea waters. This is appealing since fishermen are often featured on "Deadliest Catch" risking their very lives just to trap crabs. Also, the Nords have that Viking ancestry, which makes any Norwegian Formla sound stout enough even for today's mighty office man.
No Crack Cream - The product has been around awhile, and maybe it's the straightforward name that makes it so non-threatening to the reluctant male (or is it a Bart Simpson sense of mischief?). Anything that claims relief for farmers, gardeners, and factory workers has to be an earnest, non "beauty" product.
Udder Cream and Bag Balm, available at drug stores, were originally created for dairy cows. Moms need no further explanation.
These fine products that have stood the test of time and work very well. However, I refuse to open a medicine cabinet in my home and see something called "Bag Balm" looking back at me. Call it a regenerating serum, a beauty butter, or an anti aging break through, but not something that suggests an old bag. It turns out I, too, have some skin care hangups.
I get that youth culture is always going to have to distinguish itself from that of its elders. I understand that looking cool is important, and one way to do that is to wear clothing that implies a loose and carefree attitude. But I have never understood wearing pants with the waistband below your rear end. Does no one fear their pants could just fall down and expose their bare behind? Maybe there's no shame nowadays in having your underwear show, but your rear end? Really?
It's not only a hip-hop look, its also been adopted by skater types as well. For all the loose, big jeans that sag around there are also super skinny ones that are worn low along with shaggy hair, a cap and some plaid.
I truly try to understand the appeal of the low-slung pants. Shorter steps? (wouldn't it feel more powerful to be able to take long strides?) Is it a way to camouflage true proportions? A secret wish for the air circulation afforded by a skirt? From a purely practical perspective, it seems like big hassle.
Of course, now we know that our own Larry was in no position to be giving opinions on sartorial matters, since his own fancy pants - not to mention his shirt collection - seem to have been the undoing of his political career.
As Simon Cowell gloomily predicted, "Pants on the Ground" is becoming a viral hit and is now being chanted by kids on the school bus. Maybe a few of them will decide to wear their belts above their behinds.
Christmas, as we all know, is the litmus test of a fledgling relationship. Do you remember the agony of gift exchanges during your dating days? Would his gift be something neutral and noncommittal, something sentimental, or perhaps of real value? And what if the gift you gave wasn't comparable to the one you received? Would that mean he liked you more than you thought, that he was presumptuous, or merely that he had poor gift judgment? The entire transaction would then need to be deconstructed by your crew of girlfriends.
My best friend from college faced the gift exchange dilemma with a guy she had been dating for a couple of months. She liked him well enough, and although it wasn't a red hot romance, she didn't want to get caught unprepared. Her Christmas situation was always compounded by her birthday, which is December 23rd. She's always faced the double dillema of having her birthday forgotten altogether or getting the "combo gift" intended to serve for birthday and Christmas (she will tell you this never works to her favor). No wonder she needed a contingency plan.
The Christmas of George she bought and wrapped two gifts for him, one moderate and safe, the other more expensive, and let him offer his gift to her first. It was a good thing, as she realized the moderate gift she had for him was more than adequate. She pulled the first gift from under the tree and he never knew the difference. She was able to return the second gift and reduce her George investment. They broke up that spring when George transferred schools, to the everlasting relief of her parents, who took a dim view of his prospects as an art major.
It's ironic that, for all the calculating behind gift exchanges as a single, the posturing eventually disappears once you're a married couple with kids. Christmas gifts between spouses tend to become homeowner transactions anyway. How many BirminghamMoms are getting an appliance for Christmas - and are thrilled about it? Maybe you are "counting" a necessary purchase or repair as a gift out of practical necessity. And you know, it's fine.
It's nice to be able to drop the gift games. When you've gotten to this point, it's okay to know what you're getting and even better to know the value of what you already have.
P.S. To my above mentioned friend: I wrote "Happy Birthday" on your Christmas card, so can it count for both?
That's why this is one of my favorite kid-made holiday decorations: A pillow with handprints shaped like a Christmas tree. It won't break or decay and can even be laundered.
This wasn't a school production; I made it at home with a white square of sturdy fabric, green pom pom trim and a red backing. The ribbon atop the tree is a simple satin ribbon tacked on with a couple of stitches at its center. You could easily do something similar by having your kids apply their handprints to a plain pillow.
Use acrylic paint from any craft store for the handprints. The trick for future laundering is to add a product called Aleen'es Okay to Wash It to the paint (it' only takes a few drops and instructions are on the bottle).
Start with the bottom row of the tree first, with one less handprint per row until you get to the top. Two contrasting colors are more interesting, and you could always add colorful buttons as "ornaments" on your tree. I've also done a handprint wreath that worked out well. Talk about a perfect grandparent gift!
There's certainlyl a place for all those masterpieces from chenille straws, tongue depressors, and craft foam. But this pillow is -literally - a comfortable back up plan.
I feel for the parents of picky eaters. After all, it's understandable when your child has a medical need to avoid certain foods, but it has to be exasperating when your kid is just plain unwilling to step out of a comfort zone.
On more than one occasion we've had families with young children over for dinner and I always ask what the younger ones will like. One mom told me, "Don't worry about it, all he eats is Pop Tarts and we'll bring one of our own." And yes, that kid turned down pizza (a kid! turning down pizza!) for his dry toaster pastry.
I'll be honest, I'm sort of old-school about food. I figure by the time kids can indicate a preference for a certain food, they can also figure out they'll need to eat if they don't want to go hungry. I'm not the Pop Tart-totin' type, but I'm happy to report our previous guest has long outgrown the phase now, even if he is still pretty particular about his food.
Here's a fun plate that might induce your picky eater to at least touch his green beans, even if he won't eat them. It's modeled after the old magnet game, Wooly Willy, where you used a magnetic stylus to move tiny iron shavings around Willy's face. Of course it's a gimmick, but haven't we all dive-bombed airplane spoonfulls into distracted mouths just to see strained carrots swallowed?
The plate is $9.99 at Barnes & Noble in the Starbucks section (look among the seasonal display with coffee mugs).
