December 2009 Archives
I feel for the retail workers who are back on duty for 6 a.m. doorbuster specials the day after Christmas. They had to have been dead on their feet by the time the store closed on Christmas Eve, and now they have to get the tired old sets they tended so carefully before Christmas re-warmed for CLEARANCE with big red signs and hundreds of little red pricing stickers.
Even I have sale fatigue. The retailer holiday emails have badgered me to death, starting encouragingly enough with, "Get a head start on your holiday shopping" but then cycling through, "Hurry! 20% off starts today", "Only three more days for 20% Savings", "Last day for savings!". These were quickly followed with another round of free shipping and upping the ante to 30% savings, escalating to "last minute deals" and the feverish "only 48 hours left!". On Christmas Day I even received an e-mail from Barnes & Noble offering an "instant gift" (electronic gift certificate) to the neice or nephew you forgot.
So it's Doorbuster time again. Big deal. What can possibly be behind those doors that we haven't seen and evaluated already? I suppose the lesson is that the stuff is always on sale and it's only a matter of context. You're either a B.C. (Before Christmas) or A.C. (After Christmas) shopper. Now, thanks to instant gifts, apparently you can be an I.C. - Instant Christmas - shopper too.
If you're a doorbuster or even casual shopper during these days, check out these suggestions for clearance deals that will give you a no-hype, genuine head start for next year.
Christmas, as we all know, is the litmus test of a fledgling relationship. Do you remember the agony of gift exchanges during your dating days? Would his gift be something neutral and noncommittal, something sentimental, or perhaps of real value? And what if the gift you gave wasn't comparable to the one you received? Would that mean he liked you more than you thought, that he was presumptuous, or merely that he had poor gift judgment? The entire transaction would then need to be deconstructed by your crew of girlfriends.
My best friend from college faced the gift exchange dilemma with a guy she had been dating for a couple of months. She liked him well enough, and although it wasn't a red hot romance, she didn't want to get caught unprepared. Her Christmas situation was always compounded by her birthday, which is December 23rd. She's always faced the double dillema of having her birthday forgotten altogether or getting the "combo gift" intended to serve for birthday and Christmas (she will tell you this never works to her favor). No wonder she needed a contingency plan.
The Christmas of George she bought and wrapped two gifts for him, one moderate and safe, the other more expensive, and let him offer his gift to her first. It was a good thing, as she realized the moderate gift she had for him was more than adequate. She pulled the first gift from under the tree and he never knew the difference. She was able to return the second gift and reduce her George investment. They broke up that spring when George transferred schools, to the everlasting relief of her parents, who took a dim view of his prospects as an art major.
It's ironic that, for all the calculating behind gift exchanges as a single, the posturing eventually disappears once you're a married couple with kids. Christmas gifts between spouses tend to become homeowner transactions anyway. How many BirminghamMoms are getting an appliance for Christmas - and are thrilled about it? Maybe you are "counting" a necessary purchase or repair as a gift out of practical necessity. And you know, it's fine.
It's nice to be able to drop the gift games. When you've gotten to this point, it's okay to know what you're getting and even better to know the value of what you already have.
P.S. To my above mentioned friend: I wrote "Happy Birthday" on your Christmas card, so can it count for both?
A friend I met through work years ago has an unusual approach to gift giving at Christmas. Before there was time to ask whether we were going to draw names or do some secret Santa, he would politely decline and remind us, "My gift to you is no gift from me."
At the time, I chastised him for his bah-humbug outlook on exchanging gifts, which he explained I should be happy about. I wouldn't need to spend time or money on him, there would be no awkward moments of expectation or forced reactions, and we were all basically freed from having him on any sort of list. His philosophy applied to all adults (he did give gifts to his young nieces and nephews, reasoning that they depend on gifts because they don't have the means of independently obtaining what they want). I've since come to understand the wisdom of his approach.
His objection wasn't gifts per se, but the obligatory exchange that was unsatisfying. He thought casting about for any kind of object to give someone was ridiculous on its face. To his way of thinking, when you saw something that made you think of someone, you got it and gave it to them, no occasion required. Along the same lines, if someone was in need, he would happily share, loan, or give, but he hated any mention of reciprocity. The idea of a gift or even a favor having to be returned just took away all the fun for him. (Honestly, this consistent approach is the only way you can successfully pull off this philosophy in our Santa Claus culture; otherwise you just look plain ol' cheap.)
I think of his "my gift from you is no gift from me" philosophy when I grow weary of the Quest for the Perfect Gift. Even creating a wish list according to requests from extended family is a pain. By the time I have included size, model number, and color, I am only one click away from ordering it already. I may even be mildly annoyed if you substitute the more practical black version for, say, the red one. And then I will suffer ricochet annoyance with myself for daring to feel put out - it is a gift, after all, and you were so nice to give me the black one in any case -. but my mind is saying, "I went to all that trouble to tell you the exact color! Cardinal Red!"
I expect that a day will come when I move to some version of the no-gift-from-me program. I like non-reciprocal gifts so much better anyway; they are more in the spirit of a truly thoughtful gesture. My no-gift friend has passed along books he knew I would enjoy (with a great inscription inside the front cover). He's helped people pack and move, which I have observed to be one of the most under appreciated gifts of time other than childcare. And this year for the holidays, after a few years away in another state, he invited several of us over for cocktails to reunite and to show us the historic home he is rehabbing in an ignored area west of town.
I see how his no-gift philosophy has paid dividends. For one thing, he hasn't wasted one minute running around the vast retail frontier, second-guessing his choices or filing gift receipts. For another, when he does give something, it's sure to be unexpected and hence memorable. He's not shipping packages, collecting Kohl's bucks, or trying to get to a Doorbuster sale before 1 p.m.
In the meantime, I have the satisfaction of knowing I have some beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree awaiting their recipients, and I admit I'm excited about giving something even if it is expected. Until I adopt his philosophy completely, I'm going to hope he will host more of his signature get- togethers for the old crew. After all, he's got more time during the holidays, and he doesn't expect a reciprocal invitation from me.
Handmade ornaments are so delicate and pretty. The tiny figures in this ornament's nativity scene are handmade from dough and set into a small grapevine wreath embellished with moss. Hanging on a tree, it never seemed to get the attention it deserved and was easy to overlook among all the other trimmings. Worse, it was at risk of being damaged from the routine handling of putting it on the tree, taking it down and storing it every year..
A small shadowbox frame from the Dollar Tree now showcases and protects this ornament. All it took was a bit of silk fabric glued to the back board of the frame (although I think burlap may have looked even better) and a short length of grossgrain ribbon stapled to the back to create a bow for hanging. Now this ornament has become an interesting piece in its own right, worthy of the time it took to create in the first place.
If you have a delicate, relatively flat ornament that could have more impact as a display (or that needs a better method of safekeeping), find a shadowbox for it and give it another life. It may be even prettier off your tree than on it.
There's a place for the serious portrait, complete with gilt frame and formal background. And then there is a place for the portrait that is a bit saucier and maybe unexpected, something that conveys personality reflecting both the subject and the portrait owner. Photocandy.biz can create an unforgettable image ranging from elegant and avant guard to whimsical and fantastic.
What I love is that the Photocandy artist uses the photo you provide to her as the basis of her product. You know for yourself that only a few favorite photos perfectly capture a moment, an expression, or an age that you ever want to forget. Photocandy makes your digital image into a beautiful, one-of-a-kind piece of art to memorialize your subject and your moment. Take a look at the galleries to get an idea of the possibilities (don't miss the pets!).
How precious would a graphical rendering like one of these be for one of any number of wonderful occasions? A first birthday. A graduation. Sisters, athlete, wedding day...the list goes on. As precious as the images may have been before, they look positively enchanted after a treatment by Photocandy. Imagine how energizing one of these would be in your home.
You can order online and provide your digital image directly to the artist, whereupon you are provided with up to three digital proofs for review. Once you've made your selection, the work is completed and finalized by the artist, who has your image printed on paper or stretched on canvas in the size you specify. The piece is then chemically treated so that it is resistant to damage from sunlight or moisture, ensuring that your work of art brings many years of enjoyment.
Even sweeter, Photocandy.biz is offering free domestic shipping on orders in December. In addition, the artist will be giving away an 8x10 once each week from those who join her Facebook fan page. Skip the sepia toned photograph and go for something that will wake a wall!
Special offer for BirminghamMoms! Mention BirminghamMom with any canvas order and receive 10 stationery cards with your order, a great way to share your special image with friends and family.
That's why this is one of my favorite kid-made holiday decorations: A pillow with handprints shaped like a Christmas tree. It won't break or decay and can even be laundered.
This wasn't a school production; I made it at home with a white square of sturdy fabric, green pom pom trim and a red backing. The ribbon atop the tree is a simple satin ribbon tacked on with a couple of stitches at its center. You could easily do something similar by having your kids apply their handprints to a plain pillow.
Use acrylic paint from any craft store for the handprints. The trick for future laundering is to add a product called Aleen'es Okay to Wash It to the paint (it' only takes a few drops and instructions are on the bottle).
Start with the bottom row of the tree first, with one less handprint per row until you get to the top. Two contrasting colors are more interesting, and you could always add colorful buttons as "ornaments" on your tree. I've also done a handprint wreath that worked out well. Talk about a perfect grandparent gift!
There's certainlyl a place for all those masterpieces from chenille straws, tongue depressors, and craft foam. But this pillow is -literally - a comfortable back up plan.
There's a warehouse full of monogrammable items, fashion watches, and houndstooth accessories on Old Hwy 31 in Riverchase. This is the same company, known as Time Machine and Stitch Witch, that was in the Galleria for years selling purses, lightweight luggage, and throws. Now they've moved to a larger retail space where they still monogram or replace watch batteries while you wait, only now there are more products available on site.
Most timely right now is their selection of collegiate products and especially houndstooth items offered through their online shop, ehoundstooth.com. Since a lot of BirminghamMoms may know someone headed for the Rose Bowl (or be planning trips themselves), a few accessories may be in order for the trip. You'll find a variety of houndstooth duffle bags, headbands, scarves and purses, and many items can be monogrammed. (It should be noted that the Tampa-bound will find Auburn items also).
Most of the houndstooth products here are not licensed by the University of Alabama, so they do not provide funding for the school's programs. On the other hand, houndstooth is a universal pattern (well established, let it be said, even before Bear Bryant ever donned his hat), so there's no reason to expect it to be licensed unless it specifically bears the university's logo. If you want to signal your allegiance via your houndstooth pattern, you'll find several options here.
Stitch Witch/ Time Machine and ehoundstooth.com's retail space is at 2010 Old Montgomery Highway. If you're shopping near the Galleria, you're practically there. Exit the Galleria at the Sears parking lot (near Stix and Kinko's) and cross Hwy 150, passing Sam's and turning right on Old Hwy 31. Follow the road past Riverchase Elementary and entrances to the Riverchase residential subdivision, and you'll see the store on your right.
If you have anything that needs to be monogrammed, bring it. You can have it stitched while you shop or if it will take a bit longer, leave your things and continue down Old Hwy 31 to Valleydale Road to have lunch at Monette's Pizza. You can enjoy a relaxing lunch and your newly monogrammed items will be ready to go when you return.
What do you do when you want to donate money for a favorite cause but have taken a hiatus from paid work to raise your kids? This was the dilemma Abby, a BirminghamMom of three faced when she wanted to give more than her time to the causes she supported.
This mom decided to get industrious and use her fascination with art supplies to create Crazy Mama Designs and her signature item, "Caps for a Cause." These include pendants she makes using bottlecaps and fillers like colorful beads that feature flowers, peace signs, etc. Proceeds from her "Caps for a Cause" creations go to support some of her favorite organizations, including the Birmingham Hospitality Network, which serves homeless families in Birmingham in helping them develop a stable lifestyle. Recent craft fair proceeds from Caps for a Cause have already benefitted Cystic Fibrosis, among others.
While she designs these herself using her own materials, anything smaller than one inch can be incorporated into a custom design, so if there is a special something you'd like to have made into a necklace, magnet, or embellishment for a photo frame, it's worth inquiring. She also makes earrings, photo frames, and other products.
Necklaces are $14.99 each and assembled by hand. Find them at Please Reply, Smith's Variety, Snoozy's Kids and the Junior League of Birmingham gift shop. There is a style and color combination for any outfit and a girl on your list is sure to love receiving something so one-of-a-kind.
The Birmingham Hospitality Network is a non-profit organization consisting of congregations who provide overnight lodging for up to 14 people on a rotating basis. Abby spends an evening with the group when her church hosts, and she has subsequently gotten to know and take a personal interest in several of the participants. However, this Crazy Mama acknowledges that she first started volunteering overnight so she could take an occasional break from her own hectic evenings at home wrangling three children to bed. Here's a shout out to her husband!
I feel for the parents of picky eaters. After all, it's understandable when your child has a medical need to avoid certain foods, but it has to be exasperating when your kid is just plain unwilling to step out of a comfort zone.
On more than one occasion we've had families with young children over for dinner and I always ask what the younger ones will like. One mom told me, "Don't worry about it, all he eats is Pop Tarts and we'll bring one of our own." And yes, that kid turned down pizza (a kid! turning down pizza!) for his dry toaster pastry.
I'll be honest, I'm sort of old-school about food. I figure by the time kids can indicate a preference for a certain food, they can also figure out they'll need to eat if they don't want to go hungry. I'm not the Pop Tart-totin' type, but I'm happy to report our previous guest has long outgrown the phase now, even if he is still pretty particular about his food.
Here's a fun plate that might induce your picky eater to at least touch his green beans, even if he won't eat them. It's modeled after the old magnet game, Wooly Willy, where you used a magnetic stylus to move tiny iron shavings around Willy's face. Of course it's a gimmick, but haven't we all dive-bombed airplane spoonfulls into distracted mouths just to see strained carrots swallowed?
The plate is $9.99 at Barnes & Noble in the Starbucks section (look among the seasonal display with coffee mugs).
I never go through the tours without having three thoughts:
1) It must be nice to get to (filll in the blank: enjoy this art, walk on this rug, cook on this stove, read in this library, have coffee on this terrace...) .
2) Wow, I would never have thought of that (wreath in that spot, common plant in that centerpiece, use of that color). Must try this at home.
3) That's it, I'm repainting.
By the time I get back to my humble abode, the resolve to pick up a paint brush has left me, but the inspiration remains.
The homes are a master class in staging. There is nary a toothbrush or sink sponge in sight. Instead, burnished appliances gleam under ambient light, collections are grouped in tidy little vignettes, and menorahs or evergreens promise a warm welcome for the lucky friends and relatives who will be dining at this very table soon. Of course, these generous folks are staying in a hotel somewhere while we wander through their homes over the two days. Hope the flowers hold up until their company arrives.
The homeowners really do go all out to have their homes at their best, and hostesses in each room offer a few extra tidbits about the provenance of a furnishing or an interest of the homeowner. An added bonus is the open church building itself, which dates back to 1915 and has all the classical features and materials you would expect. The gardens outside are lovely and the doors and vestibules are festooned with greenery and flowers for the tour.
The tour will be December 12 and 13th. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased at the church or at any spot on the tour. Proceeds benefit the IPC Children's Fresh Air Farm and other missions supported by the Presbyterian women.
One year I rode a shuttle provided to reach one of the tour homes and happened to sit next to some girls who were in the know. "My mom lives a few doors down," said one of them, "and she said they were still installing those giant boxwoods at 5 p.m. yesterday." A-ha! This is just the type of dirt I need to hear. As effortless as the IPC team and the homeowners make it all look, it's reassuring to know that it does indeed take significant work to get a home ready for entertaining, even with a staff to help.
I know firsthand what it's like to be homesick, and I don't just mean the summer camp variety of homesickness. I mean the kind where there is no sun like the Alabama sun, no breeze like the Gulf breeze, and no barbeque that can satisfy. This homesick is a mental place where you would happily roll down a hill of kudzu into a barrel of prickly pinecones if only you could picnic by the Tennessee River.
This is because my first "real" job was with Ford Motor Co. in Detroit. After brief recruiting visits staying at the Ritz Dearborn, it seemed like an exciting place to start a career (suffice it to say the industry was much more hopeful at the time). Fast forward to the 7th month of a gray winter where I was practically infirm from Seasonal Affective Disorder and inadequate skills for driving on snow (boyfriend, now husband, was still in Birmingham, another impediment to coping with frozen car door handles). No wonder I finally broke down in tears in the middle of Farmer Jack's; the clerk had never heard of grits and was sure they didn't carry them. Who were these cold-enduring people? Didn't they know there was a warmer life elswhere?
Believe me, there are folks you know who are missing Alabama right now. It doesn't matter whether they are thriving in a new location they love or they are saving nickels for a return via U-haul. They're occasionally reminded of a balmy summer night or an amazing slice of pie and thinking fondly of their time here, perhaps especially during the holidays.
You can send them a little memento of home. Alabama Goods.com is a company run by two BirmighamMoms that markets Alabama-made pottery, decorative arts, foodstuffs, and even furniture. Much of their business is in corporate gifts, but they have all sorts of items for individuals. Some of my favorites are the Birmingham necklace, Alabama Platter, and the state-shaped cutting board.
The clay Alabama ornament above would also be a thoughtful gesture as a parting gift for relatives who have come in from out of town, since it could serve as a memento of their time here (assuming, of course, that you all will want to remember the visit).
As for my time in Detroit, a gift like one of these wouldn't have cured my homesickness, but it could have kept me mindful of the people who were thinking of me back home. Besides my mom sending grits, my boyfriend gave me the ultimate gift for a homesick girlfriend: an engagement ring and an invitation to come home.
The elves are back and some BirminghamMoms have reported strange happenings in their homes.
Like last year, the elves seem to like vis-a-vis markers for leaving greetings on bathroom mirrors, shower doors, and even aquariums. This year they have been working double time:
One morning an elf appeared wearing its kid's Silly Bandz on its arms.
Another elf was caught wearing its kids earrings. Lucky it didn't get into mom's dangly ones! That would have looked even sillier on those tiny pointed ears!
A set of elves must have missed the snow at the North Pole. They were found on the kitchen counter in a big bowl full of sea salt. Mom reports that the salt looked very convincing as snow.
More snow substitues: An elf was found be inside a clear container of marshmallows. He was so deep that only his head and mittens were sticking up from all the marshmallows. It must be really tough on the snow loving elves assigned to stay with us in the deep south.
You never can tell where these elves will show up. I've seen an elf photo appear as a screensaver on a family's computer. Some elves have even had their photos entered into cell phone home screens. We've known of busy elves who apparently took photos of themselves all over the house (next to the sleeping dog, in a backyard swing, holding the toothpaste) and then loaded them onto the TV monitor as a slideshow. That made the kids really suspicious of what could be going on when they're sleeping.
Most moms seem to prefer elves who are fun-loving but don't make a mess too big to clean on a hurried morning. Some moms have even made deals with elves to limit tricks to a couple of times a week. I'll bet these are the same moms who stick to their grocery lists.
It's true that I've probably never met a tote I didn't like. However, this one is unique simply because it suits such a heretofore unmet purpose. I'm calling it the car butler.
Several months ago I read a a book about organizing that suggested creating an "errand box" which would work like an in-box for the car. You would put it by the kitchen door to collect any items you needed to handle that day, then take it with you to the car, where you would place it in the passener seat. You could see at a glance what you had to do, like returns, mail, etc., and keep coupons and circulars at hand.
I couldn't imagine a good looking "errand box" until I saw this tote. Voila, I knew I had found just the ticket. But since an "errand box" sounded onerous (isn't it enough to have a "to-do list" to work?), I decided to think of it as a car butler, which sounded pleasant and ready to serve. Indeed, it has been serving well:
- Perfect size for the front passenger seat
- Laminated fabric comes in all sorts of solids and patterns and can be wiped clean
- Mesh pockets at either end are perfect for business-size envelopes to hold mail, carpool tag, school correspondence
- Handles can pull together like a picnic basket; lightweight; keeps its shape
- Can be folded flat for storage
- Can be moved to the trunk easily (if visible packages or returns could invite theft)
- Attractive enough to leave out when collecting items that need to go to the car (won't scratch leather upholstery)
- Use it to unload car at the end of the day, sort things into their proper places, and then put by the door until next outing
- Can be monogrammed or personalized
- Open top = flip through contents easily
The tote's handles aren't sturdy enough for heavy items like library books, but the tote is still perfect for grabbing the mail or newspaper (especially when it's in a rain-soaked bag), and for gathering the odds and ends that somehow get left behind in the car after every outing.
I found my "butler" at Snoozy's but Blue Willow in Cahaba Heights and several other specialty shops sell them. They are around $24 and would make a handy gift.
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They're sold by PajamaGram.com, which says they're made of Dormisoft, a denim consisting of 95% cotton and 5% spandex. They don't look bad. Certainly, they look a little more presentable than the pajama pants, sweats, and velour active wear that I graduated through during the postpartum continuum of time during which days and nights were impossible to distinguish.
During that time all previously established routines of sleeping and bathing were completely disrupted, and I'm pretty sure dental hygeine was also neglected. An option like this might have at least given me the chance to appear dressed for daylight instead of looking like a perpetual sleepwalker in pjs.
Maybe these aren't premium denims, but they're not the usual mom jeans, either. A touch of Spandex is common in a lot of clothing now, as it allows some give and a better drape in the fabric. This is fortunate for us moms since, when you're with kids, there's no use wearing anything you can't kneel, squat, or run in at a brisk clip.
Inspecting the enlarged photo, it appears that the topstitching is real and so are the rivets. There's no fly and there are no belt loops, accounting for another large part of the comfort factor. (Need I mention that some of us give up belts for a awhile, maybe indefinitely, after delivery?) Pajama Jeans are meant to be worn with a top that is untucked, and in fact the gray t-shirt is included n the $59.95 price.
When it's all about comfort, maybe Pajama Jeans are just the thing for new moms. As much as I hate to say it, It may take a little while to get back into "real" jeans anyway.
Whether you schlep around a cheap purse or carry a fine designer bag, you probably can't avoid placing it on the floor from time to time, especially in a restaurant. Chances are also good that when you bring a load in from the car you drop everything on the kitchen counter to sort, including your (previously on the floor) purse. We wouldn't let our kids put their shoes on the furniture, let alone the kitchen counter, but we're not so vigilant about our own purses.
One alternative to placing your purse on the floor is the purse hook. Normally, I try not to complicate my life with accessories for accessories. This purse hook is a worthy exception, though. Although I've seen them in stores like Stein Mart, I didn't care for the ones that are encrusted with sparkly stones and shaped like lipsticks or shoes. Then my friend whipped hers out the other day and I knew it was the simple, functional look I would like. Maybe it helped that it coordinated perfectly with her purse and green jacket.
She tipped me off to these at A.K.A. Girls' Stuff in Homewood, where they're only $10 and come in a matching little case (I guess that gets me three-deep in accessories to accessories). No matter, it's a great price and so much better than kicking around your bag under the table.
While we're on the subject of purses, don't forget the key finder. I conservatively estimate it has saved me a collective 12 hours of my life - not to mention frustration - over the past two years as I have not had to dig around in a bag for my keys.
