July 2009 Archives
Our household accounts at area banks have been taken over, transferred, or sold repeatedly, and we have dealt with the parade of ever-changing corporate logos for the sake of convenience and plain old inertia. However, I wanted the kids to know the old-fashioned satisfaction of walking into a bricks-and-mortar bank and making a deposit. At some point, they need to see that money does not grow on trees and also come to understand the link between legal tender - those green bills in their birthday cards - and the number on a bank statement.
The conference room/cold drink/new ink pen package had the kids giddy with feeling grown-up. I even played big-shot myself by whipping out my checkbook and writing each of them a $25 check as seed money to help them start their new habit of saving. (Of course, these checks were accompanied by a lecture on the importance of being responsible, setting aside money, etc., etc.) This gave my son a grand total of $36 to deposit while his similarly situated sister had saved over $200. Guess which one we'll designate as executor of our will one day?
The bank has an onsite coin counting machine, so now they can dump their spare change and turn around to deposit it directly into their accounts (Chuck E. Cheese tokens will be sorted out automatically). Best of all was the moment they got to stuff the cylinder with their jumble of dollars, tooth fairy money, and checks and then send it away via the pneumatic tube. Admit it, isn't it fun even as an adult to see that cylinder sucked up into the ceiling?
Finally, the kids were given t-shirts and plastic piggy banks, and that was enough for them to decide banks are cooler than dresser drawers for stashing away money.
Have they bought into the idea of saving their money? Will they ever learn the power of compound interest? I don't know. Just last week my son used some of his money to buy an ionic (?) neclace from Dick's Sporting Goods, even though I am certain we could have knotted a shoelace around his neck to provide the same effect. But this is their money, not mine, and they have to learn how to handle it. Better to learn now than when grocery or rent money is at stake.
If your kids are old enough to print their names and can earn an allowance, I recommend you help them set up their own accounts with you as custodian. They will need social security cards to establish their taxpayer ID as well as e-mail addresses and passwords to enjoy online banking (which amounts to their being able to see their balance online). Of all the things you can do to prepare them for the "real world," this may be one of the most important. Let's help our kids understand money so that they can make the best use of their resources, no matter the economic circumstances (nationally or individually) they inherit.
An old friend from grade school called me the other day. "I've made an escape from the house right now and am taking a LONG time to run my errands," she confessed. "I just can't seem to pull myself away from all these school supplies! I knew you would understand why I, a grown woman, would be pawing through all these new spiral notebooks. Do you remember how much fun it was to get new notebooks every year? Oh, look, here's one with a cute paisley print and a flexible cover, you know, the kind that won't get dog-eared..."
So began the discussion of our shared fetish for school supplies. The way some folks study Fashion Week in Paris is the way we still study what Mead and Crayola have wrought every August. Although her son is only in preschool, she confesses that she can't resist a new, pristine notebook and a pack of pencils for herself. And were 70 sheet notebooks ever just 15 cents each back in our day? Did I remember what a commitment it was to choose a five-subject spiral notebook in high school, and the importance of the dividers? Affecting the little curves on our N's and M's as we developed a distinctive (we thought) handwriting? And the leap from wide rule to narrow rule, an indication of our growing maturity and worldliness?
You might be thinking you have better things to do with your time than reminisce about school supplies. But we began to recognize that kids today just don't have the capacity to appreciate supplies like we did. Take crayons.
Think about it: Kids now have crayons readily available to them at every restaurant. At first, crayons were in a big basket at the hostess stand to be grabbed by the handful for doodling on the kids' menu. Now restaurants have caught on that crayons are expected, so they're usually individually wrapped in packets of three or four. While we moms were in grade school, we learned to ration our pack of eight crayons to keep the black one from overuse. In contrast, our kids have brand new crayons thrust into their hands every week.
Kids aren't worried about maintaining a sharp crayon point or peeling the wrapper down carefully. Have yours ever even worked a crayon down to a nub? Probably not, since it is too easy to get replacements. At this particular moment, Office Max is selling packs of 24 crayons for 1 cent, limit three. Imagine, 72 crayons for the price of a forgotten nickel in your sofa cushions.
There was no more effective method for learning colors than crayons and the package of 64. These taught us the difference between a red orange and a red violet, although it's doubtful that the boys got the lesson (would your husband think magenta is a color or a historical figure?). Now color literacy is less assured. All the colors used to have obvious names like "sky blue" or "copper." Now there's color called "razzmatazz." That's not a color, folks, that's just marketing. You will never hear someone say, "We're painting the bedroom a warm razmatazz tone." The word isn't even suitable for poetry.
As my friend and I grew philosophical over the abundance of crayons, we agreed that we ourselves have lost the reverence we once had for them. Nowadays we're shaking them out of backpacks and cursing any that make it to the dryer. Years ago, we might have saved these old crayons for Girl Scouts and melted them into a candle or stained glass (crayon shavings ironed between waxed paper, an old standard). Now we have no use for them.
"Would you believe they make packs of 120 crayons?" she exclaimed, and we were both horrified at the thought of them scattered throughout our houses. Alas, we realized we've grown old the day we can't get excited about crayons and all the possibilities within 120 colors.
"I'd better go," she said wistfully. "They'll be looking for me." I understood. At least she got herself a new notebook, not to practice handwriting or to make cryptic notes to pass, but to draft lists for errands like this one.
I have a "junk" e-mail address that has apparently been shared far and wide with internet marketing forces from the dark side. Now I'm receiving crazy e-mails every day from all sorts of dubious sources. I actually find many of these highly entertaining,even if they are implausible. Here are some of my favorite subject lines:
* Your watch is the proof of your taste and social status
* GET A DIPLOMA! (If all you get is a piece of paper, why not print your own? It's just as ridiculous)
* Forget feeling blue and have happy thoughts all the time with our Rx
* Miracle acai berry will melt away pounds
And my top pick so far, despite the threatening tone:
* Refined sugar will be your enemy until the day you die
I can spot these spam e-mails immediately and delete them without opening. But there are some e-mails I started receiving lately that made me look twice, and other BirmnghamMoms need to know to be wary. These are e-mails that include a recognized logo or familiar brand and with whom you may even have an established business or consumer relationship. They may appear to be from Bank of America, USAA, ebay, Microsoft etc.
I've learned that this practice is called "brandjacking" and it's rampant now, especially since the financial crisis has left consumers uncertain and vulnerable. These e-mails look like those that come from your banking institution in that they have similar disclaimers about being FDIC insured, require you to click on a link to respond, and some even use encryption technology (requiring you to input the letters/numbers you see in a field) to go to the next portal.
I'm not a technical or security specialist, but I have seen enough of these to identify the red flags.
1. Financial institutions keep reminding us, but its worth repeating: They will never contact you via e-mail to request confidential information. You may receive a notice that a statement is ready or that your account needs attention, but you will then be directed to log in as you normally would through your institution's website.
2. If your credit card/mortgage or banking institution itself has been taken over multiple times, it's easy to think maybe you are inadvertently doing business with Bank of Anywhere. Don't be fooled, though. Notice that the e-mail address is often some version of a brand name like "businesscenter.bankofanywhere" or "web.bankofanywhere", some combination of a brand name. This is known as cybersquatting. If it's this confusing for us, imagine how dilligent we have to be for our kids when they are online.
3. The atrocious punctuation and grammatical errors in these e-mails are a dead giveaway they aren't legit. I don't know if this correspondence is originating with the D-students from our own schools or from locations outside the U.S. where the command of the language isn't so good. Either way, you can be sure a real bank would have had professionals check and re-check for errors before sending out correspondence to its customers. Unless, of course, they also hired D-students, and shame on them if these are the folks watching your money.
4. Don't open any of these e-mails or click on any of their embedded links. I don't know what will happen if you do, but I know it can't be good. At the very least, some creep will see that his e-mail has been opened, encouraging him to send even more deceptive correspondence. At worst, he may obtain your private information and exploit it to steal your identity and run away to Bora Bora while you're stuck straightening out the mess for years.
If you're like me, it's not uncommon for you to check your e-mail even as kids are demanding your attention and the phone is ringing or dinner is simmering. Don't let an unguarded moment of distraction become an opportunity for a malicious e-mail campaign to cause problems.
I am a big fan of Upromise, the program that lets me use my registered debit/credit card at participating merchants and earn a percentage of my purchase for the kids' college tuition. It's a little thrill to me to buy something that I would have purchased anyway, then receive a notice showing a subsequent benefit to my Upromise account, which is growing without any conscious effort on my part (I also make a conscious effort to save for college, but find it much less enjoyable than this unconscious one).
There are some great dining options to Upromise participants in Birmingham. There is a participating Upromise restaurant for a meal with the family, work colleagues, date night, or catching up with girlfriends.These are just a few of my favorites:
Dale's Southern Grill - Vestavia, Riverchase, Hwy 280
I've introduced Dale's to several people and no one has been disappointed. It's what I would call an upscale meat-and-three, meaning they have a killer vegetable selection but also have wonderful entrees like pecan-crusted chicken or pan-seared tilapia. I particularly love Dale's for casual business lunches because they have good service and there is something on the menu to suit everyone in your party. For the same reason, it's also a good choice when for sit-down dining with both kids and grandparents. You won't find a senior who doesn't like Dale's. Choose the bran muffin for your bread (that's not the reason seniors like Dale's, but it's probably a plus) and it's like having a dessert to follow your meal. Bonus: Dale's has frozen entrees and sides ready to-go for dinner.
Dairy Queen - Cahaba Heights, Pelham, Hwy 280
Scrumpdillyicious DQ needs no introduction, since you had to have gone there for treats when you were a kid. Sure, you can get burgers lots of places, but can you also have this range of ice cream choices? Dairy Queen is still fun after a practice or ballgame for the kids and the grown-ups. Did you know they have a Blizzard made with Tag-a-longs, the Girl Scout cookie with the peanut butter that's also coated in chocolate? (You can continue hoarding the Girl Scout cookies you hid in the freezer for another time). My personal favorite for the drive-through is the Peanut Buster Bar, essentially the peanut buster parfait on a stick. Imagine, a portable ice cream parfait! It's vanilla ice cream with layers of fudge and big, salty peanuts - no tiny peanut crumbs here - all dipped in a chocolate shell. It's a wonder the little stick can hold it all.
Harry's Place - Riverchase
I recommend Harry's for when you need a big ol' sloppy cheeseburger that requires a knife just so you can cut it into manageable sections. What's left of the plate is covered with crinkly fries. They have other items on the menu but I've never been able to keep my resolve to try something else after standing in line and watching all those burgers being delivered to the tables. Harry's proximity to the corporate offices nearby keeps it filled with diners sporting employer ID badges during lunch.
La Dolce Vita - Riverchase
Here's a Upromise fine dining date night spot. Only true locals know about this place, located in the same Riverchase strip mall as Harry's. It's easy to rack up rewards at a white table cloth restaurant, and La Dolce Vita manages to be elegant and yet not too prissy.
iCantina - Martin Biscuit Building and Cahaba Valley Road
The downtown location is the ultimate spot to meet after work. I love a place that also offers people watching, and iCantina has some shiny, happy people of all ages. Strings of lights across the patio give a festive glow to the young kids, first-daters, and settled couples. Everyone, even the dogs who have come out to sit outside with their owners, seems in no hurry to see an evening end. Guacamole, cold beverages, and a percentage of your purchase is rewarded in the kids' Upromise account? Unbeatable. People watching not included in tab.
Bellini's - Cahaba Valley Road
This is a great date night destination or fun spot for a Girls' Night Out. The cozy interior suggests quiet conversations around the perimeter or laugh-and-toast moments at the tables in the center. There is also a patio for dining al fresco. Now they are open for lunch with gourmet pizzas, salads and pasta dishes. A take your time kind of place where you can focus on you companions and good food.
This summer's unrelenting heat seems to have touched me in the head. I've been on a mission to find out how to make the house more energy efficient, especially since we seem to adopt a new electronic device every other month. I've done all the basic things like install CFC bulbs, program the thermostat, and walk through the house periodically turning off lights and televisions (or, as the household energy meister, yelling to others to do the same).
Besides pinching pennies, I have an aversion to needless waste in general. It bugs me to think I have an air conditioning unit rumbling along not far from a door that is simultaneously letting the cooled air out. Just as annoying is an upstairs area that is always warmer or cooler than the rest of the house, to the point that it's not worth it to shed/don clothing to spend time up there. The AC folks who have come to check it always assure me that the system is working fine, but of course for several thousand dollars they can upgrade this or that feature...
I was intrigued when a friend of mine who publishes www.MyGreenBirmingham.com suggested an independent energy audit of my house. It would take less than two hours, I would receive a complete report and recommendations, and I wouldn't have to get the house "party clean" in order for the audit to be accurate. Apparently piles of laundry do not necessarily restrict air flow. I decided to give it a try.
I was a little worried at first that this might be one of those experiences where someone tells you things you already know, like to buy newer appliances or to take shorter showers. However, Dan from ProEnergy Consultants brought more than a checklist when he came out to audit. He was armed with a thermographic gun, a tiny smoke puffer (my term), and a fan gizmo to insert in the front door to equalize the indoor temperature so cool/hot spots from the air system wouldn't cause inaccurate measurements.
After setting up, Dan walked me around as he used the smoke puffer and thermographic camera. Here are the things I learned, both during his visit and later from his formal report:
*New windows are not the #1 energy-saving solution. Dan says he has clients who have paid a fortune for new windows and have not seen the savings they expected. There are many other easier, cheaper fixes that can have more impact.
*We have a walk-in attic and Dan's thermographic camera lit up as the attic door was brought into range. Attic heat was entering around the door. Dan suggested we install a weatherstripped, insulated door instead to see a difference in comfort upstairs right away.
*Knee walls - those short walls next to an upstairs dormer or slanted ceiling - are frequently problems. Since the walls are directly under the roof, they can transfer heat or cold unless they have proper barriers, like insulation with channels that allow air to flow. Between our knee walls and the attic door, we had probably identified the source of our temperature problem upstairs.
*Bathroom exhaust fans are other "hot spots" since, if not properly sealed, they allow hot air from the attic or outside to come into the house. The photo shows how an upstairs bathroom fan appeared as a red spot in the camera view due to the heat it allowed in from the attic.
*Insulation in an unfinished portion of the basement, like the garage, can have a major impact. Specifically, insulating around the "joist band" (the perimeter where the floor joists meet the walls) will increase comfort upstairs, which for us is the kitchen floor.
*At Dan's suggestion, I dialed the water heater thermostat back by five degrees. So far, no one has noticed. My husband will feel so duped when he reads this!
So now I'm on a mission to remedy the problems found in the home energy audit. The new door for upstairs is being ordered and insulation estimates are being obtained. I figure now is a good time to address these issues since the new home construction business has slowed. Maybe after we've addressed the energy efficiency issues with the house, I can increase my personal energy efficiency with less worrying about the escaping cool air.
What is it about summer that makes kids hate baths? It's the same argument that has been used for years against making the bed in the morning - why go to the trouble when you're just going to fall into the bed again that night? Likewise, the summer anti-bath argument goes: Why take a bath tonight when you're just going to go swimming/play outside/get sweaty again tomorrow?
To kids, getting wet via lake, swimming pool, or garden hose will pass for bathing. This time of year, when one hot day just melts into the next, you do question why you're being such a stickler for what seems like a wasted routine. A friend admits that she has sent her boys to bed as "dirty as polecats" just to avoid wrangling them into the bathtub. "They're just going to run outside again first thing the next morning," she reasons. Truly, the bath ends up covered in muddy foot prints and with a new ring around the tub anyway.
Summer is a dirty season. You walk outside fresh and clean, buoyed by the light fragrance of your citrus moisturizer, only to feel a trickle of sweat down your back as you unlock your car door. How did southerners ever manage to wear petticoats and rest on sleeping porches 100 years ago? And you're telling me anti-perspirant didn't catch on until it was mass-marketed in the late 1950's? A lavender sachet could only do so much.
Maybe this refusal to bathe is one of the last privileges of youth, a harmless indulgence before puberty hits. Soon enough we'll be explaining shaving cream, deoderant, and other personal hygiene products that are necessary in order to prevent repulsing the opposite sex. Once the hormones kick in, we won't have to insist on a bath. Instead we'll be complaining about all the Axe body wash we are buying.
Many years ago I was the only southerner in a training class for my first job out of college. A fellow trainee from New Jersey admitted, "When I think of Alabama, I have one of two images: Tara-like plantations, or chickens pecking out in front of a shotgun cabin."
Likewise, I shared what came to my mind for New Jersey at that time, which was no more flattering (Bon Jovi and the gum-smacking people who styled their hair like Jon Bon Jovi). Of course, both of us were much too narrow-minded. By the end of training, I had convinced him that Alabama had regular homes with modern plumbing and he'd convinced me that Jersey was less responsible for the use of chemical propellants in hairspray than Texas beauty queens (obviously there were no trainees to speak for Texas).
If you've got any road trips left in you this summer, have some fun with these squeaky-clean state jokes from Reader's Digest. (In fact, these could come in handy for comic relief and further discussion in helping your kids learn their state geography). Before you gas up the car, check out the the best local gas prices. You'll return appreciating the distinctions that make all our states unique.
If you've gotten into a weekend rut this summer, shake yourself and decide to check out the next movie in the park. These are well-organized, secure, clean, and perhaps best of all, free. Homewood, Hoover and Vestavia regularly feature movies in their parks (see the BirminghamMom.com calendar or check the community center office), and there are probably many other similar programs around town. Here are a few BirminghamMom suggestions:
1. Although the usual camp chairs are fine for movies in the park, adjustable beach chairs are the way to go if you have them. Obviously, they sit low to the ground so you're not obstructing someone's view, but the big advantage is the ability to recline them and settle back for the movie just as you would stretch out at home. If you have an attached cupholder, lucky you.
2. Bring a picnic blanket if you want to define a territory and home base for your kids. They won't be able to sit still for an entire movie, so the blanket gives them someplace to loll around.
3. A picnic is ideal but if you can't prepare sandwiches or a main dish, bring a cooler with sodas, chips or popcorn, and fruit. You can always pick up burgers or chicken fingers on the way and you'll still save money by bringing your own drinks. There are usually vendors like Little Caesar's and ice cream/snow cone trucks, so you'll have choices.
4. The problem with sitting at the perimeter of the crowd is the traffic as people step away to the restroom or older kids stand around visiting with their friends. The center may be better. Of course, you don't go to a movie in the park to follow a flick with a complex story line. Assume there will be plenty of distractions, which is part of the fun.
5. Movies in the park are a bit like live entertainment in that there are often spontaneous reactions from the crowd. There's nothing like a collective hiss for a bad guy.
6. Another great feature of movies in the park is that while the sound volume is adequate, you can still carry on a quiet conversation without disturbing other attendees, since they are usually camped out a few feet away. If you're there for a kid movie that doesn't particularly interest you, use the time as a sort of date to have a nice conversation with your spouse while the kids are glued to the screen ahead.
7. Movies begin at dusk, which is typically near or after 8 p.m. This can be pretty late for the really little ones, but it's a nice indulgence for the kids who are old enough to appreciate a pardon from the usual family curfew.
8. Well-behaved, leashed dogs are often allowed in the park (true for Veteran's and Homewood parks). How often do you have the chance to include Fido in your family time outside the house? If he's a good dog, bring him out to socialize.
9. The best thing about movies in the park is that you're bonding with your community and making summer memories in the balmy night air as your kids laugh and tumble around. Does it get any better than that?
As an adult, it's easy for summer to become just another season spent in conditioned air, punctuated with a trip to the beach or a long-awaited vacation from the usual routine. Chances are you stay just as challenged with work, home projects, and volunteer/family obligations during the summer as you do with your pursuits during the rest of the year; in fact, with daylight stretching into evening hours, you likely schedule even more tasks into each day.
Since we grown-ups practice our life and learning skills every day, it's easy to forget that kids can lose some of their hard-won fluency in math facts or language over the summer break. The classroom is designed to reinforce specific learning objectives; outside of that environment, it's unlikely a kid will get to practice what they learned during the previous year without a concerted effort at home.
There are several resources for stopping summer brain drain. The first is the library, which not only has reading lists based on age and interest, but also has educational DVDs and computer-based games for check-out that can pass for entertainment. If there are too many distractions at home, stay there and use one of the public PCs, which will probably have time limits to equal your child's attention span.
Booklets (pictured) based on grade are sold in the kids' section at Barnes & Noble and Books-A-Million and in educational supply stores. These are usually well-illustrated and have an assortment of word finds, puzzles, and problems and are less than $7.
Online there are many resources, but I caution you that some of them are just "sample" sights that require subscriptions or purchases. The best are those designed for educators, since they also explain the objectives and methodology behind the exercises. These require your time and involvement, so be realistic about when you have the energy and can be available to help.
Other fun options:
Allow them to find a route to a destination using a map (BirminghamMom Tip: Real estate booklets are great for this. They almost always include a simple fold-out map in the center. You can add a few landmarks like "our house," "school," etc. The booklets are free at almost any grocery store and at many restaurants.)
Have them make a summer scrapbook, including photos, ticket stubs, brochures and illustrations/captions they write.
Ask them to write a letter to a relative in another state updating them on what they've been doing and their plans for sports, scouting, etc. What grandparent or young cousin wouldn't love to receive a letter in a child's handwriting?
Visit any of our local museums; many offer supplementary educational guides. It doesn't matter if the kids have visited already for a school field trip. In fact, I would encourage you to take your child again so that he can explore on his own this time, without the distractions of noisy friends and the chaperones herding and shushing.
Go with them to open a bank account. At an allowance of X, how many weeks will it take to have $75? $110?
Moms, get started now and you'll almost have them conditioned for class by the time August rolls around.
Most moms I know tend to roll their eyes at the mention of craft projects, probably because they already have enough dried glue sticks rattling around in their kids' pencil boxes. However, the promise of transforming something ordinary into a boutique-worthy piece is encouraging, and if it won't cost us much to fail, the prospect becomes almost irresistible.
Several months ago BirminghamMom listed self adhesive wrapping paper from Hallmark as a Find. There are probably 101 uses for this stuff, and this isn't the place to exhaust all of them. However, I couldn't resist sharing this tip to fix up a little $1 clip board from Wal Mart.
You don't need adhesive wrapping paper to try this. Adhesive shelf liner like Con-Tact paper would obviously work (although good luck finding a cute pattern; can the Con-Tact R&D department get with Vera Bradley's textile designers for some pointers on old fashioned things like color and scale?). A real crafter will not fear Mod Podge, which is only a couple of bucks at Michael's and will adhere and seal beautiful papers like origami or even fabric to a surface.
Here I just centered the patterned, adhesive paper and used an X-acto knife to cut around the edges. I did the back side of the clipboard first, then flipped it and held the clip open to slip the paper beneath before trimming. Voila! Five minutes, tops. Who can believe this clipboard was only a buck? The pencil cup is just a repurposed Starbucks mocha canister.
Since this paper isn't sealed with a varnish or Mod Podge-type substance, it won't stand up to spills or heavy wear and tear. That's okay, because this one isn't intended for uses like note-taking or toting around. This clipboard essentially stays on display and makes my reminder lists look deceivingly well organized.
It works perfectly hanging on a large corkboard as a "featured zone" such as a place to display the week's menu or grocery list. It's also much better at holding a paper than a single thumbtack, since it doesn't riddle the paper with holes and also allows the paper to be yanked away with one hand (yes, one-hand efficiency is important to moms, who are always holding something in the other hand anyway). When you need to take the checklist and head into another room, it's easy to take the entire clipboard along and then return it to its home. I especially love how the clipboard makes it more difficult to lose whatever document is clipped to it. Note: The document must STAY CLIPPED to the board until you remove it. Enforce this rule!
You can pay a lot more for great-looking designer clipboards, but try this first. You're only out a dollar or two if you don't like it, and you can donate your leftover Mod Podge/paper scraps to the kids' supply boxes when you're done.
